It's lonely.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't have good times or happy memories for the past few months of 2021 - I did. Many times. It's just when I'm alone with my thought, the feeling keeps coming back. Ironically, this feeling of loneliness, doesn't want me to be alone. It wants to make sure I sleep with this feeling in mind and heart. Sleeping blanketed by its touch and care. 

I don't tell anyone about it,.. oh, I don't have anyone to tell about it. I'm coming to terms with myself that I will not blame anyone. It's my own fault, it's my own insecurities, my own selfishness, my own childish-ness. Everything and everyone is falling apart and out. I have no place anywhere, but here, with my blanket - my sleeping blanket, the one keeping me company all night.

Labels: diary