hi

i've been busy. 

well, it's my third year of high school, so no time playing..jk, i always play and rarely study -_- but i will try hard next semester. anyway, i can't deny how addicted i am to youtube. it's like twitter and Facebook back then all over again. except it's youtube. and it's very hard not. to. open. youtube.com. whenever. i. am. at. home. yea that hard.

ok, by the way, my life's been doing not so great :) i got into a mess and i haven't figured out how to get out. i feel people are drifting away. i have had already felt this several hundred times before. i am surrounded by people but i never feel i am not alone. they're nice, it's me that just gotten all weird and sensitive and feel being left out in the middle of nowhere. i have to say i like doing stuff alone, i like walking alone, but yes, it's kind of hurtful to know that you are actually alone by your choice but end up feeling lonely. not by your own choice. [study shows people tend to like being alone but hate feeling lonely. see the ego?]  

but.. i guess it's me. i am the problem. sometimes i try not to feel. sometimes i try to blend. sometimes it works. sometimes i overdo it then people start judging me with their eyes and feeling uncomfortable around me. idk that's just how i feel. maybe i interpret them wrong but it's just how i feel.